Well you shouldn’t be, you will also start believing it the way I do after the results of the study that I took with my team.The results were SHOCKING!!! to all of us…Let us see what everyone has to put in…I thought to commence the survey from the people I know like my friends and my colleagues and find out at under what conditions people regret when they are dating. I designed the survey,collected date and here is the result after analyzing the results.

I found people feel sorry, their relation lay in ruins, a hulk of aches and regrets…on the contrary: It can make you irresistible! The most important that came in was the dating issues that we often ignore or rather never even realize their existence. The results were randomly listed but really proved worthy in pointing the most common mistakes that can occur in a date.

Let us have a look at the following catalogue of dating regrets based on the data collected and hence the results obtained and also making sure that we are not experiencing the same and then regretting after this survey!!!


• THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING A MARRIED PERSON (man or woman) It makes no difference. In the course of our study dating a married man or a woman was a period full of cloistered review and repair. One timidly getting back into the dating scene, determined to love again, and to love well. And thinking in the mind that: Would woman /man view me as a damaged good or steer clear? “Oh, yes.

It sound silly, but our vows aren’t just words. You make plans and have expectations based on those word” After all its not silly, its not silly at all. Marraige in mind , is a definition of romantic failure.

Remember love is patient kind not over bearing it survives all and believes. Live it believe it, it will happen to you. And being with a married man is great… You get prizes, love, dinner more and don’t have to clean up after him.


• Second came in was not marrying a childhood dream, I came across a few people in my survey who have been dreaming from ages to marry to a person whom they dream every night.

More often all this happens mostly in teens with their first love in college or school. or the one who saw on the platform…

All this happens and one is alone .. coming out of his shell to feel love and fall into it..And years after they keep this in their perception and compare it with the present potential poartners….which is incorrect…and then they think of someone as a substitute who can prove himself and can rule on their childhood dream. But the dream remains as a dream even when they are asleep


• Hesitation: We found this factor most dominating in the list of our survey. Some of my friends even quoted that they tend to leave the offer for date .Questions surround them like “what will happen………..?” …”what if she says no………..?” And moreover its not just for because of hesitation, Well it’s a pile up of different internal reasons like things not going well with them and they find themselves fantasizing. On the contrary: What if one says “YES” to all the “NO’S”…

• What if she says yes for the date???
• What if she agrees to kiss you???
• What if she likes you???
• What if u both commit???
• What if you get settled and live happily thereafter???


And this all happens for just a “YES”…keep a check…don’t ever think negative and hence NO REGRETS!!!


• IN THIS THIRD AGE dating can seem like a different world, especially if you’ve been divorced. The rules have changed, the players can seem more complex. Lot of my friends listed considered this one very significant. This also includes not ending a bad relationship of the past. One has to make sure that you have healed before you jump back into the dating game so that there should be no regrets thereafter.

Some of them even quoted that “You don’t want to meet someone and the slightest behavior pattern that is similar to EX, you pull away and not give that person a chance……..”

When someone experiences a bad relationship in the past, they build a protective coat around their heart. One wants to make sure you are completely over that before dating again and then regrets………..

Dating after divorce also means giving yourself permission to be happy again. This means learning how to have fun, as you date. The old relationship is gone .Realize you are worthwhile ad others wants you. Realize you are attractive and you are supposed to have fun.


• DATING FOR SEX, APPEARANCE, NEEDS, WEALTH, CONTACTS …I found a couple of people in my survey list who are just for some specific purposes leaving aside love. They have dated innocent people with true feelings for wrong reasons and have regretted in the end. This is pretty awful. One has to analyze and then empathize and has to realize after putting your foot into one’s shoes. Not just the money, business reasons and even out of sympathy people so it knowingly. Well that’s cant be ignored.


• “LET ME STAND ON MY FOOT AND THEN WILL DATE”. “Let me think about my future …my carrier”….”let me earn for buying bread and then will think about love”. Now that’s a pretty common modern classic and a third age sentence we might get to hear. People put their carrier in the priorities and ignore the love coming on their way. Well if we analyze the most common reason is the perception of our society that only the singles can grow.

One of my friends quoted that when her college friend invited her for a date, she denied saying “I have to grow a lot in my carrier and come upto my parents dreams and so I have no time for my feelings…” and now she regrets in her 30’s that she would have sorted out her life earlier.


• CONFESSION: Now that is again a astonishing factor which came across in our survey. We found some people not being themselves .We tend to treat our potential partner badly in a relationship and then we come back regretting on ourselves. One definitely feels guilty when come to maturity and realization. We confess that we could have been nicer to the love of our life.

One of my friend added his experience as “I’ve found that by being a nice guy I’ve put myself in a position of being pushed aside in favor of “bad boy”-type guys. However, her girl consistently say that she want a nice guy. What is that makes her do this?”

Its not obviously the physical violence in this third age, its simply includes being kind, polite, supportive, courteous. One can overcome this confession with some small tips and one tends to ignore in a relationship like

• Remembering birthdays
• Wishing anniversaries
• Apologizing on small mistakes
• Compromising
• Helping in household works
• Planning small holidays
• Being romantic
• Informing for being late.etc….


• BEING UNREASONABLE: Now that is another reason for regretting. We tend to become unreasonable at times when things don’t work in accordance. One is not able to agree to disagree, that is where we dump then relationship in a bad way. This can happen at any stage of a relationship.

At the initial stage we might consider to love n leave but as we grow mature we it becomes difficult to leave or carry on. That is the time when one wants to dump. And we really regret doing that.
Veeny Chandani, vini_chandani2004@yahoo.com